What Information Should We Gather
You Don't Have to Have Everything Ready
When you begin making funeral or memorial arrangements, you may be asked for information you haven't thought about in years.
That can feel overwhelming, especially when you're grieving.
You don't need to have every answer before you make the first phone call. But gathering some basic information can make the process easier.
Basic Information About Your Loved One
Start with the basics:
Full legal name
Date and place of birth
Date and place of death
Current address
Names of immediate family members
Marital status
Military service, if applicable
Occupation or significant places of employment
Church or other community connections
Some of this information may be needed for official records or arrangements. Other information will simply help you begin telling the story of the person you're remembering.
Look for Important Documents
If you know where your loved one kept important papers, begin looking for them.
That might include a will, insurance information, prepaid funeral arrangements, cemetery information, military records, or other documents that could help the family understand what had already been planned.
Don't turn the search into a frantic hunt for every document in the house.
Start with what you know, and keep a list of things you still need to find.
Gather the Things That Tell Their Story
This is also a good time to begin gathering photographs and other personal items.
You don't have to decide yet which photographs will be displayed or which stories will be shared. Just begin collecting them.
A favorite photograph. A military uniform. A Bible. A fishing rod. A piece of artwork. A favorite hat. Something connected to their work or hobby.
Those things may become meaningful parts of the memorial later.
Write Down What You Know
Grief can make it surprisingly difficult to remember simple details.
Keep a notebook or a folder where you can write down information as you find it.
Names. Phone numbers. Questions. Important documents. Things your loved one had said. Ideas for the memorial.
Having everything in one place can save you from trying to remember it all while you're dealing with everything else.
Let Other People Help
Someone else in the family may know where the insurance policy is. Another person may have photographs you've never seen. A brother or sister may remember important dates or family history.
Ask them to help gather information.
This isn't something one person needs to carry alone.
And don't worry if you don't have everything gathered before you begin making arrangements.
You can start with what you know and add the rest as you go.
The purpose of gathering this information isn't to create another burden.
It's simply to give you a little more order in a time that can feel very disorganized.
Take a breath. Make a list. Gather what you can. Then take the next step.