How Do I Choose a Funeral Home or Cremation Provider?
You Don't Have to Choose the First One You Find
If your family has never had to make funeral arrangements before, choosing a funeral home or cremation provider can feel like one more decision you don't know how to make.
You may already have a funeral home your family has used before. If so, you may feel comfortable calling them.
If you don't have one, that's okay too.
Ask people you trust who they have worked with. Friends, neighbors, family members, pastors, and others in your community may be able to tell you about their experiences.
Ask Questions Before You Agree to Anything
When you talk with a funeral home or cremation provider, don't be afraid to ask questions. It is always a good idea to talk to your family and create a list of questions to be asked when you go, and be sure to have ALL your questions answered.
Find out what the basic services cost and what additional services or products may add to the price. Ask what is required and what is optional.
If you're considering cremation, ask about the process, the timeline, and what happens before and after the cremation.
If you're considering burial, ask about the cemetery, casket, vault, transportation, and other costs that may be involved.
Ask for the information in writing.
It is much easier to compare your options when you can look at the information later rather than trying to remember everything someone told you while you're grieving.
Don't Be Afraid to Say, "I Need to Think About It"
You may encounter someone who makes you feel as though you need to make every decision immediately.
Some decisions may need to be made promptly, but that doesn't mean you have to say yes to everything that is presented to you on the spot.
It's perfectly reasonable to say, "I need to talk with my family about that."
If something isn't clear, ask them to explain it again.
If the price concerns you, say so.
If you don't understand why something is being recommended, ask.
Choose Someone You Feel Comfortable With
Price is important, but it isn't the only consideration.
You're going to be trusting this person or organization with some very important responsibilities. You want someone who will answer your questions, explain your options, and treat your family with respect.
Pay attention to how you feel during the conversation.
Do you feel heard?
Are your questions being answered?
Do you feel pressured?
Are they willing to explain less expensive options?
Those things matter.
You Have Options
Remember that you are not required to create the most elaborate funeral or memorial available.
There are many ways to honor a life, and a good funeral director or cremation provider should be willing to help you understand those choices.
The goal isn't to find the person who will sell you the most.
The goal is to find someone you can trust to help you through an important and difficult time.
Take your time where you can. Ask questions. Write down the answers. Talk with your family.
And if you don't understand something, ask again.