How Can I Plan Ahead for My Own Memorial?
← Memorial Resources · By Rock Pifer · Last reviewed November 2026
Nobody likes to think about it.
But I've sat with families who were trying to make decisions without knowing what their loved one wanted. They were hurting, and they were guessing.
One of the kindest things you can do for your family is to make some of those decisions now, while you can.
You Don't Have to Plan Everything
Planning ahead doesn't mean you have to pay for a funeral today or pick out every detail.
It can be as simple as writing down what matters to you, and telling someone where to find it.
Things to Think About
Do you want burial or cremation?
Where would you like to be buried, or what should happen to your ashes?
Would you like a funeral, a memorial service, or a celebration of life?
Where would you like it held? A church, a hall, outdoors?
Who would you like to lead the service?
Are there Scriptures, hymns, or songs you want included?
Is there anything you don't want?
Would you rather have flowers, or memorial donations to a cause you care about?
Write Down the Information Your Family Will Need
When someone dies, the family is often scrambling to find basic information. You can help by keeping it in one place:
Your full legal name, date and place of birth, and your parents' names
Your Social Security number, kept somewhere safe
Military discharge papers, if you served
Life insurance policies and where they are
Bank, retirement, and pension accounts
Your will, and the name of anyone who helped you with it
Any cemetery plot or prepaid arrangements
Tell Someone
A plan in a drawer nobody knows about won't help anyone.
Tell your family, or at least one person you trust, that you've written your wishes down and where to find them.
It may be an uncomfortable conversation. Have it anyway.
About Prepaying
Some people choose to prepay for funeral arrangements. If you're thinking about it, take your time. Ask what's included, what happens if you move, and what happens if the funeral home changes owners or closes. Get everything in writing.
Prepaying isn't required. Writing down your wishes costs nothing.
Think About the Story, Too
Your family will someday sit down and try to put your life into a few words.
You can help. Write down a few things you'd want people to know. What you loved. What you were thankful for. What you believe.
That may be the most valuable page you leave them.
Related Questions
Next step: What Kind of Memorial Should We Have?