How Do I Write and Give a Eulogy?
← Memorial Resources · By Rock Pifer · Last reviewed November 2026
Somebody asked you to say a few words.
And now you're wondering how you'll get through it.
I've stood up at a lot of memorial services over the years. Let me tell you what I've learned.
Make It Personal
I never liked sitting through a funeral where the message could have been about anybody. A scripted service, with the name filled in.
When I brought a message at a memorial, I always tried to bring the person into it. If they were a construction worker, a truck driver, a fisherman, or a musician, that belonged in the message.
A eulogy is the same. It's not a speech about death. It's a picture of a life.
Start by Remembering
Before you write anything, sit down with a notebook and remember.
What did they love to do?
What was their work, and how did they do it?
What did they always say?
What's a story people still tell about them?
What did they teach you?
How did they treat people?
Talk to the family. Ask them the same questions. You'll hear things you never knew.
Pick Two or Three Things
You can't tell their whole life story in a few minutes, and you don't have to.
Choose two or three things that show who they were. One good story is worth more than a long list of accomplishments.
A Simple Shape
If you don't know where to begin, try this:
Who you are and how you knew them, in a sentence or two.
A story or two that shows who they were.
What they gave to the people in this room.
A closing word, a goodbye, a thank-you, or a verse of Scripture that meant something to them.
Three to five minutes is plenty. If several people are speaking, keep it shorter.
Write It Down
Even if you're comfortable speaking, write it out. Print it in large type, with plenty of space.
When emotions come, and they often do, you'll be glad to have the words in front of you.
Read it out loud a few times before the service. Read it to someone you trust.
It's All Right to Cry
If you get choked up, stop. Take a breath. Take a sip of water.
Nobody in that room will think less of you. They're feeling it too.
If you're afraid you can't finish, ask someone ahead of time to stand nearby, ready to read the rest for you. Just knowing they're there can help.
Leave Room for Honor and Hope
When I opened a memorial service, I often said we were there to do two things: to honor and celebrate the life of the one before us, and to give honor and glory to the God who created them.
A eulogy can do the same. Tell the truth about the person you loved. And, if it fits who they were, leave the people in the room with some hope.
That's a gift you can give their family.
Related Questions
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